i will be independent

it is yet another peaceful night. it feels great after taking a long and hot bath. why do i always start to feel when only distance separates me from them? i am not afraid, and definitely not lost. they had repeated the list of must-do-things to me since last week and i can read them out backwards now. i know exactly how and what i should do but the sudden sense of emptiness is overwhelming.

a gesture of putting his arm over my shoulder, telling me to take good care of myself warmed my heart instantly. i kinda regretted what i did last night but i am still angry over it. a gentle reminder to look after myself makes me want to protect them even more. why do i feel that i have failed to be the perfect daughter? i hate the current state of life i am in now, struggling with the limited ability i have.

i dont want to watch the television dramas alone. i dont want to argue with the person i see in the mirror. i need someone to bicker with me. i want to be nagged at. i want someone to pull me off my bed every morning. be safe! =)